Saturday, October 18, 2008

Internet Dating: IT’S A SMALL DIGITAL WORLD AFTER ALL

I asked a friend the other day if she would consider internet dating as an alternative to going to single’s bars every weekend. She only raised her eyebrows at me. She
asked me if I would consider it. I said I would, which made her raise them a little higher. Internet Dating, in her opinion, is for those who are very desperate and are too insecure of
themselves.

I disagree. Internet Dating nowadays has become more socially acceptable now than it was a few years ago. It has revolutionized the dating scene all over the world.
Working adults who aren’t interested in the flak and the games but want to find love are into it. Singles who are tired of the traditional approach find it a much, much better alternative.

Unnecessary Flak

Believe it or not, the predecessor to internet dating was the posting of personal ads on the newspaper. Back then there was a huge stigma attached to the practice.
People assumed that anyone who does that sort of thing is: a) too ugly, b) desperate, or c) psycho. Time has passed, and technology has advanced to produce thousands of online dating sites. Though more socially acceptable, internet dating still manages to raise a few eyebrows and draw a few snickers. But worry not, there are benefits to it.

1) Safety – The beauty of internet dating is anonymity. No personal information in regards to contact details will be given out, unless by your own discretion.

2) Security – If online courtship has gone horrible awry, or if the person you are chatting with didn’t turn out the way he or she has led you to believe, you can drop him or her. If they persist, red flag them to the sites’ webmaster, and –poof!- they are gone. Since they don’t know how to find you, you’re safe.

3) It’s free – Hey, who doesn’t like what is free? Huh? Internet dating sites allow you to sign up and log on, with nary a membership fee. Isn’t that much better than the money you spend on buying your lady friend’s drinks?

4) Wide range of choices – This, my friend, is single's heaven. There are more singles signed up and looking for love than you can stuff in a single’s bar on a Saturday night. There are tons selections, tons of prospects, for your perfect match here. In asingles bar, you find, what, around 2 or 3. Internet dating links you to around a thousand singles who want your company. Need I say more?

5) Its cost efficient, and you can date around – Okay, here’s the traditional approach: you go to a bar, party, or anywhere you meet new people. Someone catches your eye, then –if you’re lucky- you both hit it off. Then you two start hanging out: coffee, a movie, and dinner. After a while, when you ask her to go steady, she says “Hmmm….maybe… we’ll see.” What is that?! All that time and money spent hoop jumping for a small probability? And if it turns out that you’re both incompatible along the way, you dump her (or vice-versa) and go for another one. With internet dating, you can practice the philosophy of “collect and select” fully. It enables you to date simultaneously around more than five people, with less the time, energy, money, and frustration. Doesn’t that sound better than going at it one at a time? The chances of finding that “special someone”, without risk of a deficit, is higher when you go internet dating.

6) The Fear of Rejection is gone – I had a friend who once came up to a girl and introduced himself to her. She promptly and coldly shut him down. Isn’t that what we all fear the most: rejection? Who could blame the girl? She doesn’t know my friend from Adam. Needless to say, my friend returned to our table, feeling like he was kicked in the forbidden area and didn’t bother giving it another go. Internet Dating dissolves that fear. All we do is make contact via e-mail. If she rejects you, it wouldn’t be so outright embarrassing.

7) Honesty is the best policy - The thing with traditional dating is that involves trying something to wow the opposite gender; the “best foot forward” approach. We arm ourselves with killer lines that we either made up or learned from other people, practice them, and try to deliver them as smoothly as James Bond would. What I do know is that it doesn’t work for everyone. Internet dating requires honesty from both parties. It is the basis of how we build up our profiles and how we interact with one another. There isn’t much need for games and facades. All it takes is the art of conversation.

So if you’ve gotten tired of the usual hitting waterhole to find true love, why don’t you consider finding love online? More and more people are realizing the incredible
benefits that accompany internet dating. The success rate is much higher and so is the satisfaction. It has become a way for people all over the globe to connect with one another; all with a click of a button. So, don’t worry. Internet dating maybe a bad point against your social standing, but believe me: it’ll be worth it.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Writing Effective Online Personal Ads

Personals ads and in particular Internet personals ads are becoming the wave of the future in dating. More and more people are meeting online and through personals ads and these services are becoming a booming business. Gone are the singles ads of yesterday with phrases such as SWF seeks SWM. Today’s personals ads are witty, informative and hopefully effective. If you want to keep up on the current dating scene, you will have to learn all about the world of personals ads. There are a few key points to placing a personals ads which include being honest, being witty and including action phrases that will attract attention to your ad and make it stand out from the rest.

One key phrase to incorporate into your next personals ad is, “long term relationship”. This phrase is perfect because it conveys a sense of commitment. This phrase lets people know that you are committed to finding an enduring relationship and that you are not just looking for a fling. Sure there may be those reading your ad that are turned off by this phrase but as long as you maintain your honesty you won’t include phrases that don’t express what you really desire in a relationship.

“No baggage,” is another effective phrase to use in placing your next personals ad. This phrase lets readers know that you are completely free of attachments such as a spouse or children. Again, there may be those that are looking for a relationship with someone who already has children but the majority of people who use personals ads to meet people are looking for someone who is free of other commitments.

You can spice up your next personals ad with the phrase, “Active and adventurous”. This phrase is beneficial for a couple of reasons. Active has the connotation of someone who is in shape because the reader of the ad equates active with physically fit. The word adventurous leads the reader to believe that you are romantic and daring which can be very intriguing.

“Honest” is another word that should be included in all personals ads. It is very unlikely that there are people out there who are looking for dishonest partners so letting people know that you are honest is very beneficial. It’s important to not only incorporate the word honest into your ad but to also make sure that the rest of your ad is extremely honest so that the person responding to the ad doesn’t get a sense of a lack of honesty in your ad.

Another action phrase to include in your next personals ad is, “Great personality”. These words let the reader know that meeting you will be well worthwhile because you have a truly magnificent personality. It is also a great phrase to use because it indicates that you understand the value of personality in a relationship.

“Enjoys travel,” is another action phrase to include in your next personals ad. Reading this phrase creates the image that the person placing the ad is well traveled and sophisticated and this is appealing to many. It also invokes a sense of adventure which many find appealing as well.

Additionally if you are seeking responses to your ad from a certain demographic group you may want to incorporate a phrase that illustrates this. For example if you are looking to meet single women of Russian descent, you may include a phrase such as, “Seeks single, Russian women”. This may seem overly simplistic but because it is so clear, it will most likely produce the desired effect of receiving the majority of responses from single, Russian women.

If you have a love of food and enjoy exploring new restaurants, you may want to include a phrase such as, “Enjoys fine dining,” to let reader of your ad know that dining out is an activity you enjoy. This phrase can be advantageous for a couple of reasons. First, dining out is first date activity that many people enjoy so knowing that a dinner date is likely if they go out with you may result in a greater number of responses to your ad. Second, the use of the word fine in the description leads people to believe that you enjoy expensive restaurants and this can be very appealing to many readers of your ad.

Those who enjoy physical activity and keeping in shape, may include a phrase such as, “Fit and active,” to convey this message. This phrase can affectively lead to you receiving responses from those who have a similar interest in fitness. While the term fit clearly means you are in good shape and may result in a large volume of responses from those interested in meeting someone in shape, the addition of the term active may greatly diminish the volume of responses and affectively weed out those that are not interested in an active lifestyle.

An extremely effective action phrase that you can use in your next personals ad is, “Ask me anything.” This simple phrase can lead to a multitude of responses to your ad. This simple phrase lets others know that you are honest, adventurous and open to sharing details about yourself.

The personals ads may be a great place to meet a potential partner. An ad that is written honestly and incorporates a few eye catching action phrases is likely to attract a lot of attention and responses. Try to use phrases that are not only attention grabbing but also an accurate representation of your personality. Incorporating phrases just because you think they will elicit a large response can result in many responses from people who are not suitable companions.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Guide to Online Dating Sites

So…is the usual dating scene getting tedious for you? Tired of preening yourself for hours, then hit every watering hole in town, just find the ‘One’, but strikeout anyway? The killer lines you possess making you a more of a chump than a charmer? Let’s face it: we can’t all be James Bond. Maybe the traditional approach isn’t for you.

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Not so long ago, the avenue for many lonely hearts was through the use personal ads in their quest for their perfect match. However, with the advances in technology and the internet, posting in the personal ads are the thing of the past. Now there are online dating sites.

Log on and Dive in

Online dating sites are means for people to find that ‘special someone’ via the information superhighway. Contrary to popular belief, they are not an avenue for sleazy
misadventures. Mind you, Online Dating sites has revolutionized the romantic scene for many adults looking for love. While many others would take the traditional route of hitting every major watering hole in the metropolis and going through the usual games of attraction, hoop jumping, and putting the best foot forward, online dating site users would rather enjoy the art of conversation via chatting and e-mail; bar rooms have been replaced with chat rooms. It’s a safe, easy, and inexpensive way to find their partner/soul mate.

Online Dating One-Oh-One

If you are planning to take the information highway to true love, here are some things you should know first:

1) Find a site. – There are thousands upon thousands of online dating sites out there on the internet; Google alone is a sure-fire way to link up. Find one that is right for you. For those who feel that their special someone is in the same country, they’d prefer to keep it local for convenient hooking up. While those who rather think globally choose to transcend international borders. Take your pick. Examples of such online dating sites are Friendster and Match.com

2) Set up a profile. – As Hitch would say: “Go with what you have. If you’re shy, be shy. If you’re outgoing, be outgoing. She doesn’t have to see the whole you all at
once, but she definitely wants to see the real you.” The chief policy for online dating sites is honesty and sincerity, and veteran online daters can spot B.S from a mile away. Remember: you’re looking for true love, not a one night stand. Set up a profile that is attractive yet sincere. Once you set up your profile, then you’re good to go.

3) Collect and select. – The beauty of each online dating site is that are many profiles for you to pick and choose. It’s a smorgasbord of potential life-partners. If some chick states in her profile that she enjoys a Saturday night playing in traffic andunder the influence of ecstasy, then you can ignore her (unless that’s your thing also) and move on to the next. If she has the same interests as you do, then make contact.

All set? Good. Now you can sit back, relax, and begin your search for true love.

A Word to the Wise: Some rules.

Okay, like many things, there is a downside. Like the traditional methods of courtship, there are rules. Online dating is safe, inexpensive; over 99 percent of the
Online Dating sites in the world are very sincere about finding you the perfect partner. But thereare still dangersto contend with.

Anonymity breeds paranoia: what you can’t see might hurt you. There are many kinds of con men and women out there who use internet dating as a means to part unwitting victims of their wealth, some wish to inflict serious bodily harm, and some use it for other forms of cyber-crimes. Unfortunately, due to the vastness of the World Wide Web, there isn’t an effective way to police each and every e-mail or chat rooms without impinging our right to privacy, so here are a few safety tips when using an online dating site.

1) Never give out your location – It is THE biggest rule in online dating. When meeting someone online for the first time, one should never give specific details about their location, be it the home address and landmarks. The basic rule of thumb is to correspond with each other through e-mail or chat rooms around 6 or more times until you are confident that he or she can be trusted.

2) Never state anything about your financials – Another big rule for online dating sites. As I said earlier, there are scammers out there on the World Wide Web whose sole purpose is to part you with your money and use online dating sites as a means to that end. The prudent thing to do when your correspondent seems interested in the amount of money you make is to drop him. Here’s one example: If at some point, your correspondent seeks financial aid and
asks if you could lend him some cash, then you should just drop him. It may seem cruel. Hemight be genuine about it, but you shouldn’t take that chance.

3) Listen and verify their stories – What do your potential partners want? Honesty and sincerity. Anonymity breeds paranoia. You do not know who you’re really talking to, so be careful. It may be difficult at first if you’re new to using online dating sites but, given time, you’ll be able to spot the difference between sincerity and plain old fashioned B.S. Just listen to each and every word they say. The advantage of online dating is that one is given time to step back and meticulously process and digest the correspondent’s story.

4) Leave word – When you get to that final stage in your internet courtship in which you arrange an eye-ball, a rule of thumb is to meet in a public area. Always tell a
friend where you’re going and give means to contact you. If you’re a little uncomfortable going alone, bring a friend.

There. Wasn’t that simple? Now go forth, log in to a online dating site, find your perfect match, and ride into the sunset together. Online dating sites are loads of fun, if you know how. It sure as heck beats going out on a Friday Night and striking out. People might find you a little odd for for using online dating sites, some might think you're a perv, but who cares?

Just remember: Love could be just a click away.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Adult Dating 8 Tips to Live By

Adult Dating 8 Tips to Live By

Adult dating is far different from teenage dating in many terms. One is adult dating tends to be more “allowed” or need not be blessed with the permission of a parent, a guardian or just any older companion of the daters. Another is that adult dating is not as impulsive as teenage dating.

With those attributes of adult dating, here are a few tips on how to make the most out of adult dating.

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1. Relish your freedom. Unlike before, when peer and family pressure could really get in your nerves, now you have the hand and the mind to choose whom to date, when to go out on a date and where to go. Who knows? This could be your first time to finally have a say on these matters, right? Better maximize it by being your best-looking and think of good thoughts to emanate that adult dating-ready comehither look!

2. If you have long mourned a divorce or split-up, better lighten up that long face. Stop slouching on your couch and work it! If it feels like it’s high time to savor another company or relationship, by all means, entertain that feeling. It’s not like you’re getting married again on your new adult dating endeavor.

3. Better off alone. Remember that time when you go out with your clique and nobody seems to notice you? Nah, you’re just too guarded. With adult dating, you are advised to consider that now is the time that you go out a bit more often. And please do yourself a big favor. Do go out all by yourself. Don’t wait others to do the first move. But don’t look too desperate doing those overtures.

4. Ever played a serious game? Adult dating is tantamount to playing a serious game. What an oxymoron, you say? It just fits that description well since looking for a new partner in your adulthood is not supposed to be as playful as when you’re young but you still have to have some fun while carrying out adult dating.

5. Keep the tricks at bay. In playing the adult dating game seriously, no tricks or manipulations are allowed. Just like in teen dating, manipulating anyone can backfire. Be yourself to attract those who are worthy to invest a good relationship with. Look for the one who likes the real you.

6. That’s entertainment. If someone’s exerting effort and spending money to date you, he surely deserves a treat. Simply bringing up a fun and engaging conversation will do it. If he’s into it, an intellectually stimulating talk won’t hurt. No clowning or contortionist’s moves allowed.

7. Flash your most sunny smile. No, you don’t have to keep on smiling like Playboy bunny. (As if bunnies really smile that much.) What I mean is, save that lustworthy grin on the next stages of your adult dating. But if the timing is right and you both got it burning... hey… As long as you show your most approachable side, to what it leads to needs not much discussion really. But remember the tip number five!

8. Don’t break dates. If you prefer to do something else, re-schedule! Don’t cancel dates. Be fine with changing partners. It’s a part of the adult dating game.

With those suggestions, now you are more armed with adult dating tactics and ethics. Never forget that in an adult dating game, nobody becomes a loser. One just has to keep on playing to win. Have fun!